Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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