She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
