She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
