at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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