Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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