in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
