hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
