I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
