Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
