Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
