come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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