i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
