I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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