In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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