It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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