the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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