In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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