yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
