Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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