i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
