A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
