What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
