your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
