it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
