i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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