Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i think i just lost a toe
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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