I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
