If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
