i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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