this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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