Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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