I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
