But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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