I would go down on you faster than GM stock
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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