Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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