so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
