honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
