Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
