Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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