So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
