Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
