she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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