Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
