I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize