the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
accomplished twins. life is a go
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
