I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Randomize
