So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
