What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
