'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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