hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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