this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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