I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
