So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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