Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
