Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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