On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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