This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Vodka?
Forever.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
All I want is dick and wine.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
