I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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