I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Just puked most of my soul out..
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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