his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
