I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Someone came in the potted fern
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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