so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
