Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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