So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
