i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
