My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize