white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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