so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We are all done wearing pants today
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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