On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize