either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize